Parents Need a Time-Out!!

We dated 7 years before we tied the knot. Then waited 2 years to have our firstborn and 2 years after for the 2nd child. We had much alone time before our kids but when the kids came in our lives, those alone times became non-existent.

We are truly blessed to have family living nearby. We need not hire sitters when grandparents, aunts and uncles are a stone throw away. We attempted to go on date nights when the kids were little. Of course, those initial date nights were horrible because we felt guilty to enjoy ourselves without our kids. Naturally, we talked about kids during the night and rushed home within an hour. Fast forward 8 years (and 20 years into the relationship), we noticed we lost the US because we were being awesome parents. We were both climbing corporate ladders and providing for the family with the needs and the wants. Life came between US and we started to lose ourselves. 

The first thing to get back into the groove is CHANGING our mentality (on date night). We realized that it is not just a wish or a want, but more like a need. If we don't do this for us, there will not be US in the future. Secondly, when we are concentrating on us, we made a promise to NOT TALK about the kids. Trust me, that was the tough one. Third, we said to ourselves that these alone time need NOT be an extravagant night with dinner at a fancy restaurant. With those 3 factors in mind, we have our date every Friday night leading to Saturday afternoon while the kids are enjoying the quality time with the cousins at their grandparents' house.

We have done desserts night at a local shop or Netflix movie night. We typically spend less than $50 for our dates. On weekdays, our kids are put to bed at 8:30-9pm and even if they're not sleepy, they are told we need our alone time. The main thing is we are making time and enjoying each other company. Perhaps, we will go away for a couple of nights one of these days.

For Saturday evening and the entire Sunday, we spend time with our kids exploring what SF Bay Area has to offer. The words of advice I received and took to heart is -- Make time for your spouse. When your kids have grown up and left, it'll just be you and your spouse.

How do you make and spend time with your loved ones without the kids?